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When people think of ADHD, they often picture a child who is hyperactive, impulsive, or constantly moving. However, ADHD in girls can look very different—so much so that it often goes unnoticed. Instead of external signs of hyperactivity, many girls develop coping mechanisms to hide their struggles. This process, known as masking, makes it difficult for parents and teachers to recognise their challenges, leading to late diagnoses, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.
At REACH ADHD Coaching and Consultancy, we help families understand the unique ways ADHD presents in girls and provide strategies to help them build confidence, self-awareness, and resilience.
Why Are Girls with ADHD Often Missed?
ADHD in girls often appears more subtle than in boys, meaning many struggle in silence. Common signs that are frequently overlooked include:
Constant daydreaming or zoning out.
Overworking to compensate for difficulties with focus or organisation.
High levels of emotional sensitivity or frequent overwhelm.
Difficulty starting tasks despite wanting to do well.
Chronic exhaustion from trying to “keep up” with peers.
Many girls with ADHD are labelled as anxious, shy, or perfectionistic, rather than being assessed for ADHD. “Girls are often praised for being quiet and hardworking, but this can mask the struggles they experience internally,” explains Debbie Hirte, Co-Founder of REACH ADHD Coaching. “By the time they reach high school, many have learned to push through, but at a huge cost to their well-being.”
What is Masking & Why Does It Matter?
Masking is when a child hides or suppresses their ADHD traits to blend in socially or meet external expectations. Girls with ADHD are often highly aware of how they are perceived, so they develop coping strategies like forcing themselves to stay still, copying peers’ behaviour, or overcompensating by becoming people-pleasers.
While masking may help them appear “fine” at school, it often leads to:
Extreme fatigue from constantly monitoring themselves.
Difficulty identifying their own needs because they are used to hiding struggles.
Higher rates of anxiety and self-doubt.
Emotional outbursts or shutdowns at home, where they feel safe to release the stress.
“When girls spend all their energy trying to appear ‘normal,’ they have very little left for actual learning and growth,” says Fiona Alexander, Co-Founder of REACH ADHD Coaching. “Parents often notice their daughter’s exhaustion but don’t always connect it to ADHD. Recognising the signs is the first step to providing real support.”
How Can Parents Support Their ADHD Daughter?
If you suspect your daughter may have ADHD or is struggling with masking, there are several ways to help:
1. Pay Attention to Subtle Signs
Does she seem fine at school but fall apart emotionally at home?
Does she work extra hard but still feel like she’s falling behind?
Does she struggle to start tasks, even when she’s interested in them?
Does she feel guilty for needing help?
2. Create a Safe Space to Talk
Many girls with ADHD feel they are “not trying hard enough.” Help her shift this mindset by:
Reassuring her that ADHD is not a failure—it’s just a different way of thinking.
Encouraging open conversations about what helps her feel supported.
Helping her see that needing assistance is not a weakness.
3. Use Tools & Strategies to Reduce Mental Load
Practical strategies can help girls manage executive function challenges without relying on masking:
NotebookLM – AI tool to organise class notes and summarise information.
Napkin.a - Visual brainstorming tool to help process thoughts.
Reviserly – AI-generated flashcards to improve memory and study habits.
Goblin.tool - Breaks large tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
MyStudyLife – A digital planner to track assignments and deadlines.
4. Help Her Advocate for Support at School
Girls with ADHD often assume they should be able to manage alone. Parents can help by:
Encouraging self-advocacy, so she feels confident asking for help.
Working with teachers to adjust expectations (e.g., providing checklists, breaking tasks into smaller steps, offering alternative ways to demonstrate learning).
Reinforcing that her worth is not tied to productivity—effort matters just as much as results.
ADHD in girls is often missed or misunderstood, leading to unnecessary struggles. By recognising masking behaviours and providing targeted support, parents can help their daughters navigate ADHD with confidence.
At REACH ADHD and Executive Functioning Coaching, we specialise in helping girls with ADHD uncover their strengths, develop effective learning strategies, and embrace who they are. If your daughter is struggling, we’re here to help. “Girls who feel understood thrive.”
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